And Put on the Helmet of Damnation
Have you heard about that Austrian dummkopf who convinced authorities to permit his driver’s license picture to include his religious headgear? Yes, my servants. You can read yesterday’s BBC article here about Niko Alm, atheist idiot, who claimed his atheistic religion of pastafarianism requires he wear a pasta strainer on his head. Gute Arbeit, Helm Kopf!
Why, you ask, do you say he’s an idiot?
Isn’t he on your side? you ask.
My servants, come close. I will impart some kingdom knowledge to you. I trust that you will keep this confidential. However, feel free to clue Mr. Alm into his naive foolishness.
As the BBC article notes:
A self-confessed atheist, Mr Alm says he belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a light-hearted faith whose members call themselves pastafarians.
Have you heard of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? You haven’t? Well let me clue you in. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was formed by a bunch of atheist fools who objected to the state of Kansas’ (USA) efforts teach the scientific truth about where atheists come from.
Yes, at one point, it appeared the citizens of Kansas were on to my evolution lie and were going to let students in on the truth, which they called “intelligent design.” Now, I’m no fan of truth, but the reaction of the atheist fools was an attempt at cleverness that threatens to backfire. The atheist fools (OK, I’ll stop being redundant), the atheists wrote to the Kansas School Board asking for the “pastafarian” version of intelligent design to be taught to school children as an alternative to scientific intelligent design.
The central nondeity of the pastafarians is the flying spaghetti monster, an imaginary creature imagined by fools to be on par with God. Adherents report sightings, provide propaganda, and actively proselytize.
And to remove all doubt about their cynical seriousness, the pastaheads state this on their website:
Whatever you decide, remember this: FSM is a real, legitimate religion, as much as any other. The fact that many see this is as a satirical religion doesn’t change the fact that by any standard one can come up with, our religion is as legitimate as any other. And that is the point.
Yes, that is the point, my servants. It is the point at which this little prank stops being funny and starts to mightily threaten my kingdom.
How? You ask.
I’ll tell you. And then I ask that each of you write to the Head Noodle and tell him to stop before he inadvertently poisons his own sauce.
Consider, my servants: What were the pastafarians objecting to in the first place?
Right! They were objecting to the efforts of a religious group’s version of a creation story being taught to little chillens in Kansas.
And if the general public and the US courts ever catch on that pastafarianism is a religion, what does that mean for the current atheistic creation story taught to little chillens in Kansas?
Do you see my point?
No? Oh, you of little fear. How long must I put up with you?
Think: The reason atheists object to intelligent design as an explanation for the origin of life is because even though it is it self-evidently true it also happens to be compatible with the Biblical creation story (for the most part). And atheists hate God, hate the Bible, and ultimately hate Truth, so naturally they hate intelligent design.
And in the US the atheists have succeeded in convincing everyone to reject intelligent design in the public schools by trumpeting the sacred ”wall of separation of church and state” as forbidding any mingling of the Christian church and state.
So far, so good. But what happens, my servants, if people catch on that Darwinian evolution, which teaches that little chillens are the product of mindless, purposeless processes of nature, is the creation story of the religion of The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
Yes, my servants, now do you see? The pastafarians are dangerously close to illustrating, even if in jest, that atheistic beliefs animate many, many religions in the US. The Flying Spaghetti Monster may be intended to be a joke, but the truth they illustrate is far from funny.
Let me be plainly clear to even the fools who believe themselves wise: atheism is the theology of all manner of religions in the US, all of which hold Darwinian evolution to be their dogma of life’s existence. It is their creation story, and it is taught to school chillens every day.
So the dirty little secret is that there is no separation of church and state in the US. There is only separation of theistic church and state. Atheistic church and state are cozily intertwined at every level.
Atheists necessarily hold to Darwinian evolution (that is, they have no choice, regardless of the evidence). What is taught in public schools?
Atheists have no basis for holding life sacred. What is taught in public schools?
Atheists have no reason but to celebrate sex as natural, whether it be between boyboys, girlgirls, and whether married or not. What is taught in public schools?
Atheists have no ultimate authority other than other men, so that government legitimately fulfills the role of provider and protector. What is taught in public schools?
Atheists believe that people are ultimately good, and it is only society that makes them bad, so people are not to be blamed for their condition in life. What is taught in public schools?
Get it now?
Yes, I know, my servants, I know. That’s my point!
As soon as people catch on that atheism is the theology of atheistic religions, they will realize that their little chillens are being indoctrinated in the dogmas of a religion every day, in the name of “secular” separation of church and state.
That’s why I’m very disappointed in the acts of atheist idiots like Mr. Alm. He may think he’s funny, but I do not. He just took one giant step toward the lid being blown of my “separation of church and state” ploy.
Atheist religions are just as much “churches” as theistic religions.
Let’s hope the Americans never catch on.
This entry was posted on July 14, 2011 at 10:33 pm and is filed under atheism, atheists, creation, Darwinism, evolution, False religion, secular humanism, Uncategorized with tags atheism, atheists, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, pastafarianism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.