Archive for the separation of church and state Category

Crime: Blame it on Heaven?

Posted in False religion, freedom, Government, liberals, multiculturalism, political correctness, progressives, separation of church and state, toleration, Uncategorized, worldview with tags on June 23, 2012 by devilbloggger

Crime.

It probably does not surprise you to know that I love crime.  I love lawlessness.  I love people who are lawless.  I love people who believe their actions carry no moral weight beyond their selfish ends.  I love people who believe they can flaunt the law because there is no one who can stop them, and if someone does stop them there are no negative consequences.

And I’m not talking about President Obama.  (But don’t you just love how he can explicitly flaunt the law and get away with it?  Who’s going to stop my main beelzebud???  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.  I love it!).

No, I’m talking plain old ordinary crime.

I am the author of crime, which is merely man’s name for what amounts to breaking God’s law (and, usually, his heart).

God?

What does God have to do with crime?

Well, apparently a lot according to a pleasingly misleading headline over at CBS Seattle.  The title initially baffled me: Study Finds People Who Believe in Heaven Commit More Crimes.

Vraiment?  Etes-vous sûr?

Something seemed amiss, even to moi.

So I investigated a little, and found to my great satisfaction, that my instincts were correct, and my will on Earth is lurching along just fine; it was just another example of my media slanting a story (they thought) against Christians.

No!

Yes!

You see, my servants, after the arresting title (get it?), anyone who reads the story will find a different story.  The very first line reads:

Believing if you are on a “highway to hell” could impact whether or not if you commit a crime.

What?  I thought this was about belief in Heaven (note, also, CBS’s editorial mistake of not capitalizing the name of a real place).

Well, there was a heavenly slant.  The article continues:

A study published in the scientific journal PLoS One by University of Oregon’s Azim Shariff and University of Kansas’s Mijke Rhemtulla finds that people who believe in hell are less likely to commit a crime while people who believe in heaven more likely are to get in trouble with the law.

Well, well.  Let’s think about that statement for a moment, shall we?

Go ahead, think.

I’m waiting.

Because if you think for yourself about the above statement you will be rewarded by a great insight into my almost complete success in blinding the postmodern human mind.

Oh, OK, I’ll tell you.

Note the implications of the research above: people who believe in Heaven apparently don’t believe in Hell!

How can this be?

You see?  The people who believe in Heaven commit crimes.  But if they believed in Hell, the wouldn’t.

Who are these people?

Well, let me gloat: these are my people.

You see, Christians believe in both Heaven AND Hell (or else they would not be Christians)

But there are swarms of my misguided out there who live by wishful thinking, and who are apt to believe in Heaven, but believe Hell is a myth.

Wouldn’t you?

After all, if Truth were mere merely convenient, so that it conformed to what one thought about it, all those Heaven-not-Hell’ers would be on their way to paradise–crimes and all!

But . . .

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, my.  Pardonnez-moi, mes amis.

Of course, Truth is not changed by what anyone thinks about it.  And you should see the Heaven-not-Hell’ers as they come tumbling down the chute through my wide-open gates!  Suddenly those crimes come flooding back into their  now-permanently depraved minds.

After all, Earth is the only place in the universe where there are beings who do not believe in Hell.

But no one stays on Earth forever.

So, of course, just like belief in God, everyone eventually believes in Hell.

So, my servants, let’s keep this study quiet.  After all, if governments and societies were led by smart and wise people, they would once again teach little chillens the truth about Hell.  And if that happened I would see many fewer startled faces tumbling into my kingdom.  The study authors, in fact, “believe that the study raises “important questions about the potential impact of religious beliefs on global crime.”

Yes, it does.

Shhhhh!

My Will Be Done in the Bronx

Posted in atheism, atheists, Government, liberals, liberty, secularism, separation of church and state with tags , , on December 5, 2011 by devilbloggger

Bronx.

What do you think of when you think of “the Bronx”, my servants?  For those in America I hope you thought first of the word “crime.”  Because I have for years made Bronx, New York, affectionately called “the” Bronx, a center of my will on earth, complete with crime, death and destruction. And I want to keep it that way. Hopefully my good servants in the American court system will help.

I will explain, but first a lesson in my success at wreaking havoc among lives on earth.

I will illustrate my greatness by comparing the Bronx to its big brother, New York City, which is no Garden of Eden.  Did you know that, according to neighborhoodscount.com, there were 166 crimes per square mile in New York City last year?  Guess how many there were in the Bronx? Wrong. There were 1117.  The national average in the US is 41.8.

I’m good.  I’m really good.

In New York City your chances of becoming a victim of a violent crime are 1 in 248.  Not bad; I’m trying to get that up.  But in the meantime, I have my will in overdrive in the Bronx, where your chances are 1 in 104. Please, visit the Bronx, my friends.  And marvel at my greatness in bringing wanton evil to bear on innocent (and not so innocent) creations of God.

Enough with the good news, my friends; I’m disturbed.

Why am I disturbed, you ask?

I’ll tell you. I read a AP article entitled, Tiny church in NYC awaiting Supreme Court decision, and thought to myself, what is a church, tiny or not, doing in the New York City?  Then, to my horror, I read that this church is actually in the Bronx! A church in the Bronx???? How can this be? Fortunately, my good servants, I’m on the job through my good friends of the New York Civil Liberties Union who are dutifully trying to shut down these rogue Godpunks.

Why?

Because these peace-loving, life-changing, scoflaws are clearly ignorant of the great American Constitution and are meeting, of all places, on weekends in a public school! And in America any group can meet in public school facilities except Christians.  When a Christian group rents public school space it is automatically and unquestionably an establishment of religion by the United States government.

Because the Americans have lost their minds on the “separation of church and state” issue.  I have so totally screwed up Americans’ minds on this that most people in the public sphere really believe that the mighty US Constitution, secured in place by unapologetic Christians who regularly worshipped in public places, now forbids unapologetic Christians from worshipping in public places. Yes, my good friends, this little band of selfless Christians trying to bring a glimmer of hope into my Hell on Earth called the Bronx, will be shut down if I can have my way.

And I will; my legal slave-servants working through the American court system are on the job. Hopefully it’s only a matter of time, and I will have the Bronx all to myself. Again.

And the beat goes on.

On second thought, bless ME!

Posted in atheism, atheists, political correctness, separation of church and state with tags , , , on September 29, 2011 by devilbloggger

Gesundheit!

Did you know that Wikipedia has an entry for “Responses to sneezing”?  Yes, my friends, nothing escapes those Wikipedians, who tell us that: “In English-speaking countries, the common verbal response to another person’s sneeze is “(God) bless you” or in the United States the much less common “Gesundheit” (from German, meaning “health”).”

God bless you???

Where does that come from?

What?

Wikipedia will tell us that also?

Well, what do you know?  Sure enough, look here–Wikipedia’s entry for “Bless you”.  Here’s the one I like:

Another version says that people used to believe that your soul can be thrown from your body when you sneeze, that sneezing otherwise opened your body to invasion by the Devil or evil spirits, or that sneezing was your body’s effort to force out an invading evil spirit. Thus, “bless you” or “God bless you” is used as a sort of shield against evil.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Now, I must admit, that while all this is based on silliness, the practice nevertheless disturbs me.  Maybe I’m thin-skinned.  Call it professional pride or what you will, but really, why does God have to be mentioned every time someone sneezes?

Well, my servants, thankfully one of my faithful on earth is doing something about it.  Yes, you should read the short ABC news story entitled, “Teacher penalizes students for saying ‘bless you.’”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

No kidding.  I knew it would finally happen — someone (a public school teacher, of course) takes God-hating, religion-despising, atheistic buffoonery to an absurd new level that only politically correct, secularistic, unholier-than-thou Americans and I can fully appreciate.

Now, the best part.  The teacher’s name (I’m not making this up) is Steve Cuckovich.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sorry, I know he’s one of mine.  But people with names like Cuckovich and Weiner sometimes express such ironic public displays of onomatopoeic depravity that it even makes me laugh.

But I think my faithful Cuckoovich hates God so much that, according to the news story, ”He’s even lowering students’ grades if they say “bless you” after someone sneezes.”

Yes, my good servants.  This fellow servant knocked 25 points off students’ grades for saying the phrase in class.  Now that’s being a doer of my will, and not a hearer only.  When called on this bizarrely wonderful practice, he decided to stop lowering grades, but he “will just find another way to discipline students for saying “bless you” in class.”

You go, Cuckoo, my man.

Now, like any good mind-darkened servant of mine, Cuckoo-man says the policy “has nothing to do with religion,” and then goes on to say that it is about religion:

“When you sneezed in the old days, they thought you were dispelling evil spirits out of your body,” Cuckovich said. “So they were saying, ‘god bless you’ for getting rid of evil spirits. But today, I said what you’re doing doesn’t really make any sense anymore.”

Not about religion, but all about God.  Now that’s logic I can revel in.

You see, my servants, how I work?  Let me make it clear.  Everyone on earth will have their mind conformed to the ways of the world, i.e., my ways, or to the ways of God.  It’s that simple.  Hardly anyone applies themselves to be not conformed to this world, and many have completely yielded themselves over to be conformed to the world.  Very few are transformed by the renewing of their mind.

To those with a mind conformed to this world hatred of God seethes in their very being.  Most keep it well hidden, but some are so exercised in their animosity to all things Godly that they react irrationally to the most benign of common courtesies.

And in America, the Land of the Free Atheist and home of the Brave God Haters, it is open season on all things Godly.  So people like Mr. Cuckovich can do with impunity what in any other time would be labeled outlandish .  After all, who is going to call him on his atheistically religious fanaticism?

Anyone? Anyone?

I didn’t think so.

Mr. Cuckoovich, I admire you.  I hope you don’t mind if I . . . tell you . . . personally . . . hang on . . .

Ahhh-CHOO!

BLESS YOU, Mr. Cuckoovich!!

(I did that just to make Mr. Cuckoovich go more cuckoo.)

I wish Christians would just stay in church buildings

Posted in Government, liberty, politics, religion, secular humanism, separation of church and state, Truth, Uncategorized with tags on September 22, 2011 by devilbloggger

Home churches.

You know, I’m sure, that I hate homes.  And you know that I hate churches (at least churches of people who worship the true God).  So can you imagine my horror at the prospect of a church in someone’s home?

Blechhhh!

It took me almost 300 years, my servants, to push churches of Godpunk Jesus worshippers out of homes and into special buildings called “churches.”  I successfully moved large numbers of people from a personal setting into impersonal buildings and effectively changed the meaning of the term “church” from an assembly of people into the name of a special-purpose building.

I’m good, I know.

No, really, I know.

But, my servants, as you may know, the phenomena of “home churches” has had something of a resurgence over the last couple of decades.  In China, in Africa, even in the United States of Pervertia, it seems that people who love God instead of me are rediscovering the power of small meetings close to friends and neighbors.

And I don’t like it.

Which is why, my servants, I was delighted to read in today’s news out of Los Angeles (those what???) a story that chilled my heartless being.  In a story entitled, OC Couple Threatened With $500-Per-Meeting Fines for Home Bible Study, I read about my servants on earth doing my will on earth: stopping home churches.

For my non-American friends, “OC” is “Orange County” which is where Los Angeles, the city of my angels, is located.  And get this, those Godpunk scoflaws, by the names of Chuck and Stephanie Fromm, live in San Juan Capistrano, which according to the news story:

. . . was founded as a mission in the late 1700s by Catholic priest Junipero Serra, who established a local chapel that remains the oldest standing building in California.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I love it!

I’m winning!

City officials already fined the Fromm’s  $300 earlier this month for holding what the city officials called “a regular gathering of more than three people.”

Three people?  Hmmm.  I wonder where they got that number from?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

They should make it two people, because wherever two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name . . .

I’ll work on that.

For now, my servants, be assured that I am diligently working through those who do my will on earth to shut down these insidious gatherings. 

And do you know why?

Of course you do, but let me tell you anyway.

Because small gatherings of God lovers, intent on loving those around them, accepting those unlike them, and ministering to those in need, have the potential to rip my kingdom apart.

I don’t like big churches of large numbers of people.  Because honestly, most of those have little impact on my kingdom.  But these little guerrilla groups of committed Christians embedded in neighborhoods like little cells of praying and doing kingdom destroyers?

Those I must stop.

Fortunately, I have my little helpers in the form of “city officials” who I can call on to enforce my will.

And no one can stop them ultimately, because I’m turning cities and officials across the globe to do my will on earth.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Satan Answers Mr. Keller’s Tough Questions.

Posted in atheism, atheists, Bible, Darwin, Darwinism, evangelisim, evolution, False religion, God, heresy, homosexuality, liberals, political correctness, prayer, public schools, secular humanism, secularism, separation of church and state, Truth, worldview with tags , , , on August 25, 2011 by devilbloggger

Oh yeah.

My my my.  Sometimes one of mine outdoes himself in his blind hatred of all things God (true God, that is).  Sometimes this servant of mine has a loud voice that gets heard by many, convinces a few, and pleases one. My my my.

When I saw Bill Keller’s article  in today’s New York Times entitled, “Asking Candidates Tougher Questions About Faith,” I must admit I was worried.  I thought it might be an exposé focusing on the atheistic faith of some politicians, the anti-Christian faith of others, or the general degradation of all things moral and upright by almost every politician.

But I suppose I should have known better.  After all, this showed up in my paper of record.  And it didn’t disappoint.

Yes, Mr. Keller dumped not on “faith” in general, a necessary element of anyone’s political worldview, but only on sincere God faith of the type expressed by George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Ronald Reagan.

I’m with Mr. Keller on this one, my friends.  There is nothing worse for my kingdom than a politician who has a sincere belief in God, and nothing better for my kingdom than a politician who has a professed, but clearly non-existent faith in God.

You will notice Mr. Keller has no problem with Mr. Obama’s faith.

Neither do I.

But consider the faith of Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, or horror of horrors Rick Perry, and Mr. Keller begins asking the baited question, “Does it matter?”

Matter?

For what?  For an ordered society where people can live freely in relative peace like they used to do when God was not banished from public discourse?

Yes, I suppose it does matter.

And to press his point, Mr. Keller sent a questionairre to suspect candidates to find out where they stand on questions he believes important.  The entire questionnaire can be found on The 6th Floor blog.  Just for fun, I have given my answers to his questions below.

Enjoy. 

1. Is it fair to question presidential candidates about details of their faith?

My answer:  Yes, of course.  Everyone has faith in something or someone, and the public has a right to know what or who is the object of one’s ultimate faith.  Obviously, it is that “something” or “someone” which/who will ultimately drive a politician’s policy choices.  I just hope that atheists, and practical atheists like most Democrats in the US don’t get questioned on this point.

2. Is it fair to question candidates about controversial remarks made by their pastors, mentors, close associates or thinkers whose books they recommend?

My answer: Yes, it is fair.  But the emphasis should always remain on “pastors” and not “thinkers” like Karl Marx,  Bill Ayers and others who espouse destructive ideas that I’ve miraculously made standard thought among the political elite, as well as the faculty of most college campuses.

3. (a) Do you agree with those religious leaders who say that America is a “Christian nation” or “Judeo-Christian nation?” (b) What does that mean in  practice?

My answer:  No. America used to be a Christian nation.  Of course it is not now.  In practice a Christian nation would not kill millions of babies for convenience, celebrate homosexuality as normal, or trash Biblical sexual morality (all three are intimately related).  A Christian nation would not ban Christmas displays, censor Christmas carols in public schools, fire teachers for reading Bibles at work, object to crosses in public places (whether inadvertent or purposeful), freak out over after-school bible studies, go spastic over graduation prayers, kow tow to imprisoned terrorists on religious grounds, sue every person for every Christian utterance made in public, or … well, you get the idea.

4. If you encounter a conflict between your faith and the Constitution and laws of the United States, how would you resolve it? Has that happened, in your experience?

My answer: I encounter conflicts all the time.  The Constitution was written based on an implicit faith in the God of the Bible–an obvious conflict for my purposes.  Fortunately, I resolve it by convincing many people that the Constitution is “living” and subject to change based on prevailing morals by consensus.  Does it seem like the time is right to make abortion a Constitutional right?  Then, by God moi, I make sure someone finds that right buried in that dadgum thing somewhere. 

5. (a) Would you have any hesitation about appointing a Muslim to the federal bench? (b) What about an atheist?

My answer: Moi?  Ha ha ha ha ha.  Of course not. 

6. Are Mormons Christians, in your view? Should the fact that Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman are Mormons influence how we think of them as candidates?

My answer: No.  But Mormons can be just as damaging to my kingdom.  I hate Mormons almost as much as I hate Christians.

7. What do you think of  the evangelical Christian movement known as Dominionism and the idea that Christians, and only Christians, should hold dominion over the secular institutions of the earth?

My answer:  Frankly, that idea scares the . . . well, the . . . the heck out of me.  Fortunately, it will never happen, but I can use the notion to prey upon fears, just as I’ve done with Mr. Keller.  Question: Would Mr. Keller care if “Dominionism” was the idea that atheists, and only atheists, should hold dominion over “secular” institutions of the earth.  Why not?

8. (a) What is your attitude toward the theory of evolution? (b) Do you believe it should be taught in public schools?

My answer:  I LOVE the theory of evolution.  This theory has done more to advance my kingdom than any other in the history of the world.  Of course it should be taught in public schools, but not as Darwin presented it, a tentative scientific theory, but as dogmatic fact immune from criticism.  Darwin, a true scientist, included many reasonable scientific objections to his theory of descent with modification in his book Origin of Species.  I would not want students to know these objections, all of which continue as refutations to Darwin’s theory today.  One of my greatest lies on earth is that Darwinism is ironclad science and anyone who questions it is naïve at best, and evil at worst.  (Consider: Darwin’s own book, half of which contains scientific criticism of his theory, could not be taught in public schools today!  The criticisms are just as valid today, but they are not allowed to be taught. Darwin would likely abandon his theory based on them.)

9. Do you believe it is proper for teachers to lead students in prayer in public schools?

My answer:  Are you serious?  Of course not.  Unless, of course, the prayers are to an ungodly toy deity.

There you have it, my servants. 

I wonder how my answers would stack up against the politicians Mr. Keller opposes?

I wonder how my answers would stack up against the politicians Mr. Keller endorses?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

CNN Learns Atheists are Religious Jerks and Other Things

Posted in atheism, atheists, Bible, False religion, Popular blogs, religion, separation of church and state, Truth, worldview with tags , , on August 20, 2011 by devilbloggger

CNN.

Did you know CNN has a blog like mine?  They call theirs the “CNN Belief Blog.”  Nice work they do there, for people who do not have a committment to the truth.  Merely observing, the good folks at CNN are.

That’s why it was fun to see some of the things CNN learned after one year of blogging.  Their latest blog entry entitled, “10 things the Belief Blog learned in its first year,” by Dan Gilgoff, proved entertaining, and in fact informative.  Let me give you my spin on a couple of things they learned.

CNNs first learning was something that I’ve been telling people for almost a year that I’ve been blogging: Every big news story has a faith angle.  In fact, every decision, every act, every thought, has a faith angle.  It’s called a world view, and everyone has one.  A world view framed by a true belief in God leads one to a certain set of decisions, actions, and thoughts.  A world view framed by a true unbelief in God leads to different decisions, acts, and thoughts.  And because decisions, acts, and thoughts have consequences, the news produced by the consequences of such decisions, acts, necessarily have a faith angle.

In fact, most people never see the faith angle in news stories because people in the modern world have been trained by moi to associate “faith” only with belief in God, and most of the news seemingly does not involve one’s belief in God.  In fact, atheists have faith as well, and their faith produces most of the news you hear.  Because their faith in action almost always produces bad news. 

But as long as the world does not recognize the life-destroying, society-damaging acts of atheists as being related to their religion, my ways are safe on earth.

Shhhhh.

And the faith of atheists brings CNN to their second realization: Atheists are the most fervent commenters on matters religious.

What CNN could say, based on the examples of comments provided, is that atheists are the biggest jerks on matters religious.  CNN makes the observation that atheists provide an “avalanche” of comments on virtually every blog entry of theirs. 

Atheists commenting on a “belief blog”? 

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

I told you so.

You see, atheists don’t believe in God so much that it seems that’s all they ever talk about.  In fact, God is on the average atheist’s mind more than he’s on the average Christian’s mind, I’m happy to report.

Every atheist prides himself on how smart he is, rejecting (theistic) religion and dissing God.  Atheists often join organizations called “free thinkers” or “skeptics” or “fools anonymous.”  As I’ve said before, it’s fair to say that if God did not exist, neither would these organizations.

Got it?  Atheists know God exists, they just don’t like him.  In fact they hate him.   Of course, I don’t like him either, so on that we are in agreement.

But the difference between me and atheists (aside from the fact that I’m not that kind of fool; I believe in God) is that I don’t spend all my time talking about how God doesn’t exist and vilifying those who do believe it.  I merely go about seeking whom I may destroy in spite of God. 

Atheists, unless they change, are all but destroyed already.  My job is to go after the rest.

And I’m doing that 24/7.  Except for the times I take a break to write this blog, I’m roaming about the earth seeking out whom I may devour.  And the pickings are easy in America for another reason which CNN discovered: Most Americans are religiously illiterate.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Most?  Like almost all?

And why wouldn’t they be, my servants?  Why is such a discovery surprising?  I’ve essentially removed all Godtalk from the public sphere.  It’s practically illegal to have a Bible in public, prayers are unconstitutional, and every public expression of God faith is met with a lawsuit from some poor offended soul.

I’m winning, my friends.  And to prove it, consider CNNs last learning:  Most Americans don’t know that President Barack Obama is a Christian.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Biblical illiteracy, indeed.

Is Barack Obama a Christian?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

How to make an atheist cross

Posted in atheism, atheists, cross of Christ, False religion, freedom, multiculturalism, political correctness, politics, religion, separation of church and state, theology, toleration, Truth with tags , , on July 27, 2011 by devilbloggger

Cross.

You know I hate crosses, don’t you?  Crosses represent everything that I oppose, everything that I despise, everything that I wish I could change but cannot.  Crosses represent the one act, the one event, the one person of ultimate life.  O Death, where is my sting?

Blechhh!

Fortunately for my kingdom, me and mine are not the only beings in the universe who hate crosses.  One other class of beings also hates the cross, a class of humans who believe in disbelief, have a different faith, and hate the cross: atheists.

Humans are the only kind of being in the entire universe who can believe God does not exist; all other beings know the truth.  All other beings in Heaven and Hell are theists.

In fact, atheists also know the truth.  That’s why they try so hard to disbelieve

Do you know who theists write about? 

Right!  God.

Do you know who atheists write about? 

Right again!  God!

Why do atheists spend so much time thinking, writing, speaking, and generally fulminating about God?  Do atheists spend equal amounts of time and anguish insisting Bigfoot does not exist?

So it was with some amusement, my servants, when I read today’s article at CNN entitled, “Atheist group wants to stop World Trade Center cross.”  Apparently, the perpetually agitated became downright cross over the notion of displaying a cross at the World Trade Center memorial of the 9/11 terror attack.

The CNN article explains:

The World Trade Center cross, two intersecting steel beams that held up when the twin towers collapsed on September 11, 2001, is seen as iconic to some.

No, iconic to all, apparently, even our not-so-tolerant protectors of tolerance, the Godhaters.

What’s a good group of cross agitators to do when agitated by a cross in America?

Right! Sue, baby, sue!

America the sue-tiful!

Yes, my servants, the American Atheists filed a lawsuit this week in state court in New York claiming the “government enshrinement of the cross was an impermissible mingling of church and state.”

Of course, the American Atheists only consider “church” to include a belief in God.  This is because they are fools.  There are plenty of recognized religions/churches that hold to atheism as their theology.  Everyone knows this.  Even atheists claim religion status when it is convenient.  Here is one example.

Hey, I wonder if American Christians can sue to have crosses placed everywhere, because to not display a cross an impermissible mingling of atheistic church and state.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You see, my servants, the state will always promote a religion.  It may be a theistic religion.  It may be an atheistic religion.  But church and state are necessarily “mingled” at every level.

Why do I care?  Well, it’s because atheists are also asatanists; they do not believe in moi.  And to tell the truth, that hurts a bit.  To try so hard to impact their lives with lies.  To see them believe my lies and reap the consequences.  To see them curse God instead of me.  Or to see them simply ignore God and me.  It just makes me a little irritated to get no credit for impacting their lives in such visible, tangible ways.

This must be how God feels. 

I suppose it’s not all bad.  At least I get to spend eternity with them.  God doesn’t.

So let’s take a look at these brainiac American Atheists.  To show you how darkened minds think, minds filled with hate and intolerance at those whom they believe hateful and intolerant, let’s take a peek at the American Atheists’ “Religion” page, and see what we can find out about these religionists.

Consider this gem of intellectual brilliance:

Religion spreads like disease through societies, rarely coexisting with pre-existing mythologies, rather preferring to conquer or be conquered. Religion is anything but tolerant.

And you, my servant American Atheists, do you co-exist with mythologies?  Don’t you prefer to conquer?  Are you tolerant?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Try this:

Religion is malicious, malevolent, and unworthy of respect.

Uh … it may be just moi, but you are coming across as overtly malicious, blatantly malevolent, and, quite frankly, entirely unworthy of respect.

Sorry.

And then, to show they know nothing about physics, the American Fools say this:

Atheism, the absence of religion, is the only “ism” that obeys the laws of physics. 

Really?  Tell me, Atheist Einstein, why is there something instead of nothing, and how does your answer obey the laws of physics?

Ha ha ha ha ha. (Most atheists don’t even understand this question, and won’t even try.  But when understood, the question highlights the atheists necessary faith in a godless miracle.  Shhhh …)

Hey, Lamesteins, where do “laws” that must be obeyed come from in the first place?

(Never mind the fact that “isms” don’t obey anything, atheist idiots.  Matter and energy obey the laws of physics.  “isms” merely express faith in an explanation of an unseen and unprovable physical event of the creation of matter and energy.  In both cases, theistic and atheistic, this explanation embodies the believer’s necessary faith).

In fact, my friends, atheism is a religion (at least legally in the United States), or it is the theology of godless religions like Religious Humanism (which all atheists are, whether they know it or not).

But back to the issue of the cross.  My servants, even though atheists rub me the wrong way because they are also asatanists, I must support them in their efforts at eliminating all crosses from public view.

It’s time that everyone put down their crosses and stop following Christ.  It’s time that the symbol of all that is good in the universe, the symbol of victory over death, the symbol of my ultimate defeat, the symbol of a functionally peaceful society, the symbol of a common cultural understanding, the symbol of help in time of need, the symbol of mercy and grace, the symbol of hope in a dying world, the symbol of . . .

Oh, gag me.

Just support the atheist fools on this one, my servants.  Please?

Now I’m cross as well.

Why not Christ IN the Pacific?

Posted in christians, separation of church and state with tags , on June 30, 2011 by devilbloggger

Statues.

What is it with South Americans, my servants?  I opened my computer this morning (I use an Apple, by the way; I just love their logo!) and what did I read?  The Telegraph (UK) blared the headline: Giant Statue of Jesus Christ opened in Peru.  And an LA Times article confirmed it was called “Christ of the Pacific”.

Blechhhh!

It wasn’t enough that Cristo Redentor (Christ the Redeemer) stands over Rio De Janeiro.  That statue (which I hate) has become an icon of Rio and Brazil, standing 39.6 meters tall.  I almost kept Cristo Redentor in its dreamer’s head in the late 1800s.  Brazilians dismissed the idea when Brazil became a republic in 1889 with laws mandating the separation of church and state. 

We celebrated Brazil’s great wisdom.

But, alas, eventually Christ the Redeemer was built in the 1920s and has since been named one of the New Seven Wonders of the World.

And then last year a “gigantic” statue of Christ was erected in Poland.  Standing almost 58 meters tall from the base, it is said to be marginally taller than Brazil’s Christ the Redeemer. Despite my counterfeit signs of divine disapproval, the statue was finished and stands today as a blemish on my desired kingdom.

I try to ignore all these huge statues of Jesus.  The very sight makes me ill. 

And now, my servants, we must also deflect the stares of people on the Pacific side of South America with the newly inaugurated Cristo del Pacifico (Christ of the Pacific) on a hill overlooking Lima Peru.

What am I to do, my servants?  I tried striking Christ the Redeemer with lightning but could only do minor damage.  We do try to do as much damage as we can.  Last year we struck a 62-foot high statue of Jesus in Ohio with lighting, causing it to be completely destroyed.  But it was made of combustable material.  I’m not sure what we can do about Cristo del Pacifico.

Here’s why I’m bothered, my servants.  I know these are merely statues.  And I know that many think they are ugly eyesores.  Susan Villaran, the mayor of Lima, labelled Cristo del Pacifico “a plastic copy of the Christ of Corcovado [Christ the Redeemer]” in Rio de Janeiro.

Ugly.  Plastic copy.  Eyesore. 

Yes, but they still stand.  And people still flock to them.  People look, take pictures, consider the subject, and go away changed. 

People are seeing a representation of Jesus Christ.  And if only one is changed by what he or she sees, I lose.

Why won’t someone build a large statue of me?  I certainly control the thoughts and minds of the people of many countries more than Jesus does, right?

Right. 

Now, my servants, get busy.  Build me my statue.  

And make it taller than any Jesus statue anywhere.

Some Folks at NBC are Under Me

Posted in atheism, atheists, Government, political correctness, public schools, separation of church and state with tags , on June 19, 2011 by devilbloggger

Quote of the Day:  Many think “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance is merely innocuous, benign, feel-good, foo-foo language, and to a large degree it is.  But it has a great symbolic value for one simple, but profound reason: everyone is “under” someone.  And if you are not under God, guess who you will be under? 
Pledge of Allegiance: Under Whom?

Under God.

I hate the words “under God.”  In fact, I was the first created being to make that clear.  And to this day, like most human beings, and especially modern Americans, I refuse to bow my knee. 

Yet, of course.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

So you should have seen the smile on my face when I heard that today on NBCs coverage of the US Open golf tournament, NBC cut the words “under God” from a televised recital of the Pledge of Allegiance.  You can read all about it at the WashintonPost.com, in an article entitled, “NBC apologizes for cutting “under God” from Pledge of Allegiance before US Open.”

Yes, NBC apologized very weakly, saying:

Regrettably, a portion of the Pledge of Allegiance that was in that feature was edited out.

A portion?  That’s like a doctor apologizing to a patient’s family for accidentally removing the patient’s heart by saying regrettably “a portion” was removed.

And we are to believe that this particular portion was cut accidentally? 

Really?

NBC let its true allegiance show in its continued weak response:

It was not done to upset anyone and we’d like to apologize to those of you who were offended by it.

No offense taken, believe me, my NBC friends.  No offense here, at least.  Of course I know of at least one who may be offended, but I wonder if you really care, NBC.

I believe not, thankfully.

But just why was it done, NBC?  If it wasn’t done to upset anyone, why, of all the words that could have been inadvertently cut out, were these two words cut?

Let me share with you, my loyal friends and servants, what really happened.  My peeps were there, they saw it all.  Listen up.

It seems Junior Copy Editor for NBCs original Pledge of Allegiance piece was educated in a US God-free zone, popularly called a “public school” in most places.  This well-educated chap got to the part of the clip where little chillens recited “under God” and he had no idea what or who this was. 

God? Junior had never seen or heard the word “God” before except as a common swear word, and he was puzzled at just how one was to get “under” this thing called God.

So Junior Copy Editor leaned over his cubicle to ask Supervisor Sally at the sports desk who or what “God” is, and she answered while she quickly clicked away from something she was enjoying online, that “God is illegal in America.”

Illegal?” asked Junior.

“Duh!” replied Supervisor Sally, “haven’t you ever heard of ‘separation of church as state?  It’s in the Declaration of Independence, you moron!”

Embarrassed that he didn’t know who or what God is and further chagrined because he had only a vague notion of the Declaration of Independence, Junior did the only reasonable thing: he simply deleted all references to this illegal God thing.

Which he did.

So NBC is right in saying that removing “under God” from the Pledge was not done to upset anyone.  It’s just that so few people educated people have ever heard the term before in its proper context, and have no idea what it means, that like the name of an unknown relative, it’s easy to dismiss it as irrelevant to anything important.

And what pleases me most is just how few were upset or offended. 

My work on earth is almost complete.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ping pong or Jesus? Easy. Just keep the abortions coming.

Posted in abortion, Bible, christians, common sense, multiculturalism, public schools, religion, separation of church and state, toleration with tags , on May 5, 2011 by devilbloggger

Ping pong.

There’s a mix of good news and bad today on the wires today, my servants.  On the good news side, who would ever have thought that ping pong would beat Jesus on the scale of approval by which public school officials weigh student priorities?   Well, I mean who besides moi, of course!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

The good news I refer to today is from a Fox News story entitled “School Bans Christian Club.”  You will love this, my servants.  This is my will on earth in action.  It seems some Godpunk students wanted to start a Christian club at (I’m not making up this name) Hicksville High School in Islip, New York, USA. 

The good principal (Brijinder Singh?) of Hicksville Godless High School did the right thing, however, by, according to the story saying, “I ain’t havin’ none of them dang Christians in my dadgum skool.”  Or something to that effect.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And she meant it, dad burnit!

And do you know why?  Because there is no funding for another klub at Hicksville School for Atheists, especially not a Christian club.  In 2008, according to the Fox News story:

the principal denied a similar request and said that any religious club must be “multi-faith,” open to all religions and must allow non-believers to lead the club.

Well, now, that’s my kind of principal.  This makes as much sense as saying that the school administration must be “multi-IQ” and must allow imbeciles to lead the school. 

Why not?

No, really, why not?

But my good principal didn’t have the IQ to be totally honest with parents.  According to the story she stated that the school didn’t have the money in the budget for a Christian club.

But they have the money for a ping pong club, a ski club, a debate club, and 32 other clubs.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

My servants make my day.

And it’s a good thing, because now, the bad news.  What is wrong with America on the issue of abortion, my servants?  I’m losing my grip.  Just today I see a headline at the weeklystandard.com entitled, “House Passes ‘No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act’ 251 to 175.” 

What?  Didn’t each of those 251 congressmen and congresswomen swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States?  Isn’t abortion a rock solid constitutional right, engraved right into the original document somewhere between free speech and freedom of religion?

And why, my servants, would anyone object to taxpayer funding for a fundamental right of all already-born women and their irresponsible already-born menfolk?

Are Americans going soft on killing?  Apparently so, my friends.  According to the Weekly Standard story, polls show that Americans overwhelmingly oppose federal funding of abortion or allowing federally subsidized insurance plans to cover abortions. 

I don’t understand.  I’ve owned the public schools in America for decades now.  I’ve got them playing ping pong instead of going to Bible clubs.  I’ve taught every little chillen within my control, i.e., every public school chillen, the lie of safe sex with no consequences.  And I’ve gotten school administrators to leave their ping pong games long enough to guide scared little girls who found a consequence to terminate the consequence without any fuss from anyone, including parents (unless an aspirin was necessary also; that requires parental consent).

I don’t understand.  You, my servants, will be held directly responsible if I see any significant decline in my favorite American pastime: killing one, wounding one, destroying many.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Now, get to work electing officials who understand my will on earth.

Terrible News Tuesday (No. 4)

Posted in Catholic Church, christians, gospel, political correctness, religion, separation of church and state, theology with tags , on April 12, 2011 by devilbloggger

Alliance.

Do you know what I like almost more than anything, my servants?  Division.  I love to divide families, communities, nations, and, most of all the Body of Christ.  Imagine a body all chopped up, its various parts rendered useless by their disconnectedness to the head. 

Abortion?  Of course, but I’m speaking figuratively, although, all destruction by tearing apart what God put together makes a beautiful sight.

Which brings me to some terrible news today. 

Do you know what I dis-like more than just about anything else?  Unity.  Blechhhh!

That’s why I reluctantly bring you bad news today, my servants.  Imagine my trepidation when someone brought me the Christianity Today headline entitled, “An Improbable Alliance.”    It seems that Catholic and evangelical theologians are successfully seeking common ground on religious liberty, an issue that I’ve used to cause frequent strife between the two groups.

Oh my.

Maybe I pushed liberty-crushing political correctness too far.  Maybe I disguised prejudice against Christianity behind the smokescreen of tolerance a little too well.  Maybe God is working in the hearts of Christians . . . bah!

I remember when I tried to abort the early body of Christ by splitting up the early church.  I had various factions quarreling among one another; one saying “I follow Paul,” another, “I follow Apollos,” another, “I follow Peter,” another, “I follow Christ.”

Then the apostle Paul (whom I thought would be flattered to have had a denomination named after him, like Wesley or Luther) came along and put a stop to that.  “Is Christ divided?” he asked.

Ouch!

Paul heaped on the truth of unity in the Body of Christ:

“Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. . . . [W]e preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

But, fortunately, men continued to trade the foolishness of God for the wisdom of men.  And once Paul left the scene wise men once more began dividing up to follow Paul, Apollos, Peter, and, a very few, Christ.

It was a beautiful sight.

That’s why this “Improbable Alliance” makes me ill.  The alliance, manifested in a group called “Evangelicals and Catholics Together” (ECT), seeks to bring together all Christ followers in a common cause. 

Evangelicals and Catholics together?

Impossible, right?  I mean, come on, what possibly could bring these two together?  That’s like a group called “Water and Oil Together.”  The only way that could happen is with great agitation.

Oh, wait . . .

Hmmm . . .

Yes, maybe you, my servants, screwed up with your politically correct intolerant agitation and stirring up of religious bigotry.  According to the article, ECT seeks to restore lost religious liberty:

“Now we are standing together to defend the religious liberty of all believers, which is under assault around the world and in the U.S.”

And the ECT Godpunks go further, taking deadly aim at our kingdom, my servants, by recognizing up front that while the two groups have serious theological differences, joining together in alliance has great value:

“It allows us to make common cause on the great moral issues facing our culture, including the sanctity of life, the dignity of marriage, and religious freedom.”

Learn this carefully, my servants: this is code language for efforts at joining in alliance to stop abortion on demand, prevent same-sex marriage legislation, and restore religious liberties in the public square.

You can see why I’m peeved. 

I just hope this doesn’t catch on.  I hope Catholics continue to condemn Protestants and Protestants to look down their noses at Catholics.

At least then I still have those who are of Peter and those who are of Paul, which leaves very few who manifest truly being of Christ.

Alliance?  History is on my side.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

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